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i hate this

being lactose intolerant, that is.

<massive venting post>

do you know how much wendy’s commercials that show a frosty kill me now? or looking at ice cream.. or pizza.. or anything?

it’s been about 4 months now. 4 months where i’ve had no choice but to go cold-turkey on 99% of all dairy (or lactose/calcium-containing) products. and for someone that a) ate a bowl of cereal every morning b) ate yogurt at least 3-4 times a week and c) ate ice cream typically at least once a week… it’s just TORTUROUS. i’ve been really good at telling myself eating it would make me sick and being able to not think about it, but now it’s so frustrating. the “i can do this” motivation is basically gone, and it’s almost depressing.

and i hate being reminded of it at every meal.

anyway… if i hear any more of the following 2 things, i will go postal on someone:

1) “i don’t know how you do it”

2) “but you need calcium!”

and my answers:

1) ok, for the 12th time, i don’t do this by choice. i do this by health necessity (see next paragraph). do you not think this tortures me every meal of every day?

2) thank you for your concern, but how the (insert appropriate 4 letter word here) do you expect me to willingly get/take calcium when i will be potentially violently sick for days afterward - which will also mean the calcium may stay in my system for a whole HALF HOUR? will you let me get this under control first and then i’ll go to a doctor/nutritionist to deal with that?

however, i should point out that lactose pills may start to save me. i’m SLOWLY testing the less lactose-containing things out with 2 pills (sidenote: typical dosage is 1 - and 1 doesn’t help me at all) and so far, i haven’t been sick. but i’m also still being very very paranoid about what i eat, and when i eat something, that i don’t have much of it. why? well because the last time i was sick due to eating something ‘bad’, it lasted for 12 days and for that whole time frame, i could hardly eat ANYTHING (and dropped about 7-10 pounds in the first few days alone). i mean, i was starting to get threats from my mom that she’d put me in the hospital if necessary just to get rehydrated. it was just not a good situation.

what i wouldn’t give to go back to how things were even 6 months ago… *sigh*

</massive venting post>