so confused

November 17, 2002

first off, try to ignore the javascript warning msg. you may see now… i have to figure that one out. i didn’t touch anything on here in terms of layout or anything, yet it just appeared…. edit: JS issue solved. :)

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yes, this entry may seem rather cryptic, and i’m warning you upfront. i’m not going to divulge much in terms of details due to the fact that anyone who wants to can read my site, and due to the fact that i honestly don’t feel that i can truly trust many people (both online or off) anymore. besides my family, there’s probably about 10 people TOTAL. too much has happened that’s turned out to backfire… so i choose to make this (and most entries, basically - if you’ve noticed) pretty generalized.

< ./disclaimer>

and finally, on to what i wanted to get out, i guess.

and this whole thing is so dang frustrating and upsetting at the same time.

you may or may not know that i don’t do a lot of things that “typical” people my age do because of my goals, morals, beliefs, family reasons, etc. i have my own reasons behind everything i do or choose not to do, and peer pressure and guilt trips just reinforce MY mindset.

and frankly, well a lot of things people my age do just piss me off to no end and i refuse to (in my mind) lower myself like that.

so then why do i feel like such a freaking loser (lately especially) when everyone else does things that i’m basically against? it’s like i feel so left out or whatever… but at the same time, it’s just “not my thing” for one reason or another.

anyone up to swapping personalities with me? :-/

and with that… the second term-ual (you know, like annual but for this term @ school) net banishment begins. be back after i finish 3 final projects and take one quiz. i’ll be back before my mkt. comm. final probably though.

i’m doing this so i don’t do something drastic. like become clinically insane. heck, i’ve already mastered the talent of being able to give myself massive headaches for days on end due to stress. i figured i’d taught myself enough “bad” abilities for this year.

anyway, i’ll see you later. when this term is over. but you probably won’t even miss me.

edit: oh, and if you have any music suggestions, i need stuff to d/l so i don’t lose my mind when i spend countless hours working on VB and SQL mostly on my computer here… either leave a comment, PM me over on the ccboard, or drop me an e-mail :)

  1. 2 Responses to “so confused”

  2. You aren’t like anyone else. You are your own person. That’s why you aren’t doing any of those things. It’s admirable actually. And it will pay off in the long run for sure. Most of the stress you incur is self inflicted. You just need to learn how to relax a little bit! Not to pressure yourself as much. But ya know I know you consider me stupid and i don’t know anything. See ya

    By Jared on Nov 17, 2002

  3. I respect you more than I can say for the decisions you have made and continue to make in your life. They tell a lot about your personality and about who you are. Don’t EVER let anyone tell you what to do in your life and don’t EVER let them speak down to you for how you chose to live. You are a GREAT person no matter what anyone says.

    By Drew on Nov 19, 2002

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